Stories of meeting those people that aren't 'the sharpest tool in the shed'!
AT WORK: I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore. I could swear I've recently worked with some of these people...
ON AN AIRPLANE: I recently was on a flight from New York City to Tampa, Florida. Behind me sat a couple in their mid-30s,obviously on their first plane flight ever. They spoke loudly and excitedly (and annoyingly) through the entire flight about what it felt like to be on a plane, about things out the window, and treated the stewardess as you would a waitress at a cocktail bar, ordering drinks repeatedly, even though we were in coach class, with the stewardess becoming visibly annoyed. Approximately 1 hour into the flight, the pilot came over the loudspeaker and said "Ladies and gentlemen, it appears that we'll be about 30 minutes late getting into Tampa due to delays leaving New York airport". A few seconds later, the woman behind me said to her husband in a panicked voice, "Since we're getting in 30 minutes late, do you think we'll still be able to get our luggage!?!?!" I turned around and told them.."Ma'am, if you're not there to receive your luggage then FedEx will just leave a delivery attempt notification for you and attempt to deliver the package again tomorrow." Of course, when she turned pale, I had to tell her that I was just kidding.
IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
SIGHTING #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
SIGHTING #2: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"
SIGHTING #3: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer- in-the-headlights stare.
SIGHTING #4: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
SIGHTING #5: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."